Springtime in California

My roommates (and best friends) & I

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I am a very bad blogger - neglecting to blog as long as I have - and also, apparently, very bad at quitting biting my nails. Ugh. I hate to admit it but I relapsed this week for no good goshdarn reason and now I find myself turning 23 this week and totally still stuck with this pre-adolescent behavior. I think I will blame it on the stress.

Yes, that's it. I'm so stressed with rehearsals and work and auditions I must pick at the hardened cells attatched to my fingertips, it's only logical and totally forgiveable. I have spent nearly every night for the past two weeks in Northridge, CA, devising a theatre piece that is opening in NoHo tomorrow. The long drive and often tedious structuring of rehearsals inherent in this kind of work is enough to lead a girl to want to gnaw her fingertips off; not to mention the piece is a PoMo perspective on Pandora's box, mythological misogeny included. The Viewpoints refresher course has been inspiring and indulgent, reminding me how I can work outside-in in my acting and exercising my body almost therapeutically, but I am ready for the project to be over. Eager for the next one. Chomping at the bits in anticipation.

I've decided the next project I work on will be something I produce or direct. While I've been fortunate enough to continually be working on a theatre piece since I got here, I have become frustrated with standards with which entry-level theatre practitioners in LA are working. Just because we are under-funded, just because the theatre and entertainment market here is over-saturated, just because we young and don't have the connections and resources and respect other artists may have - none of these things are excuses for not following Equity rehearsal schedules, not respecting and valuing people's time properly, and not aspiring and demanding world-class, well-developed, thoughtful, vital ART. I have never been one to sit back and wait for brilliance to find me, nor will I now sit around and wait for the opportunity to work how I want to.

That being said, I have had some really interesting auditions as of late. One was a for a webseries a young comedic duo was developing. Another was my first Equity audition for a Prop 8-themed production of Measure for Measure. While I enjoyed the jogging and Doevstoyevsky (sp) quoting and the go-go dancing and iambic pentameter-spouting I had to do for those auditions, the most fun I've had lately was at a casual audition for a director working on developing a new musical. I performed "I Don't Know How to Love Him" from Jesus Christ Superstar (his choice) and then we plunked away at the piano, working on an original song from the show. I was super-nervous,  having abandoned my musical theatre background in favor of straight theatre in college, but I had so much fun singing and working out the new number, my nerves completely flew out the window. I really really really enjoy singing, I've discovered. Duh.

 My friend Katie from OU was in town the other week, and in addition to joining me on some great hikes and fun rounds of beer bingo, she came with to audit the advanced classes at Beverly Hills Playhouse. We were blown away by the energy in the room - everyone so alive, so generous, so unapologetically human. Katie's visit reminded me of what it was like to be in school and have confidence in myself and my craft, as well as inspired me to try to find a way to get a scholarship to the BHP. I feel I need to be around working actors and people who can relate and help keep me on track. I'm by no means jaded, but this industry is taxing even for the most self-assured of people.

Other news: It's Chrissy's birthday tomorrow! It's my birthday later on in the week! As soon as I can get time off of work, we are heading out to the desert to celebrate. I hear back about NY Fringe later this month. I'm developing a variety act to perform at Assisted Living homes. People continue to surprise and delight me with their generosity and willingness to help me out when they can. When my upstairs neighbor, Bailey, and I got coffee the other day, I actually cried because I was so overwhelmingly happy. I can't really complain about the rollercoaster ride I am on right now, and I don't really have much time to pause and reflect on these past 23 years, so I guess I will just sit back and continue to enjoy the ride,  my best friends at my side!